Like a red hat to a bully. Was this a hate crime or a crime against a hat? I can’t decide. And really a few scrapes and some hurt pride is it really worth reporting? Like my friend said yesterday, you’ve done worse things yourself. As long as it doesn’t stop you from going outside, or cause you to retreat back into your shell you’ll be fine. Reporting makes you feel like the victim all over again so why would you want to go through all that, just don’t wear the hat.
Talking about what happened to another friend he reminded me that a bully will often zero in on an item of clothing or a possession to target you. It could have been a scarf, or a bag or they might even try to pull a wig off your head.
Was I at fault? If it hadn’t been for the red hat, would he have tried for something else or someone else? You could say going into a noisy bar, after eleven at night on your own isn’t particularly sensible, but it’s a local, it’s not like it’s a strange place. Well it is now, it has most certainly changed, and with that change brings a different sort of clientele, perhaps a rougher, ill-mannered sort.
He was the sort who you’d give a wide berth if you saw him coming toward you, in a narrow street. In the close confines of the pub, it is more difficult to do that. He had a pop at me at the bar, another go when I went to the loo, another go when I came back and then finally dragged me down to the tarmac outside the pub at closing. Thank you to Ollie who picked me up from the floor and made sure I was okay. And I am, the scrapes and bruises will fade, I can probably scrub my trainers clean and thankfully he didn’t damage my new dress – I’d be far more upset if he had.
I can’t hold the pub responsible, they can’t monitor every single person who comes in and decide whether they have the potential to cause trouble. The actual assault took place just outside the premises anyway, so they cannot be held responsible.
All that being said, I won’t be going in there again for a while, for my own safety. I would advise women by themselves, to take care in there and if anything untoward should happen, don’t expect support from the security staff. Where was the security on Tuesday?
Was it a hate crime then, without the hat would he have found another way to target me, or was it just that he didn’t like me being the only one in a pub wearing a hat and for kicks, he decided to bully me for looking different? I still have no clue. I haven’t reported it and I’m not likely to. I’ve suffered far worse, assaults that have led to permanent injury, and our police have failed me time and again. Why when they have such a poor track record on the really serious stuff, would I bother them with this?
Someone else said I should report it so there’s a record of it, for what, statistics? They lie and fudge the figures all the time, what is the point of that? It will go unreported, of course if anyone wants to say something on my behalf feel free. Perhaps next week everyone goes in on a Tuesday night wearing a red hat, in a show of solidarity, unlikely.
since posting I have reported to Gary Hass at HCC.